Flight Cancelled

We got as far as the airpost only to find that it was closed. There are thousands of people milling about, and we are told that a Turkish airliner has crashed-no one injured, but it has blocked the one runway in and out of Kathmandu. There is no word on when it will be cleared. We find out later that Nepal does not have the resources or equipment to move it. A huge crane is being flown in from India.

Within our group there are those who see adversity as a lesson in patience. I am not one of those. I have been here long enough, and this not knowing is only going to increase the stress. I was ready to leave having had an incredible journey up to this point. I am frustrated, and out of patience. As a westerner, not versed in patience as a way of life, frustration gets stuffed, and goes right to my liver which is already taxed, and is buried along with other frustrations and anger so old as to be long forgotten. It is a beggar in the street. I have developed a stuffing process so efficeint and quick that I don't have the time to notice the damage which is part of what brought me here. Perhaps I am seeing this wrong. Several of us are already ill. Maybe there is more frustration than I realize.

So for the record, I am frustrated and angry with fate which I define as my inability to accept what is. We know that a cancelled flight is not rescheduled. Tomorrow, for the airlines, is just another day with already scheduled flights. We are out of Nepal rupies, and now feeling that we need to conserve US dollars. We can use credit cards, but with each additional day the bill runs up.

Here is the problem. There is one way out of Nepal-to Delhi. At least from Delhi there are options. We are now told that the jet blocking the runway collapsed part on the runway, part off, and the front landing gear is stuck in the mud. It may take 2-3 days to get it moved.

Mar. 5-Started Tibetan meds as I am running low on BP meds. Moving rooms-to the VIP room we are told. We are told that we can stay at the current motel for the time being. It seems that Nepal is cut off from the rest of the world.

Meditated just now, and trying to stay in the moment or as Rinpoche would say of Nepal "if you can't do it here, then where." I had an interesting conversation with him last night as he knew that I was frustrated by our circumstances. I left the rest of the group at dinner to talk with two Gypsy guitarists who were playing. I explained my frustrations with a renewed "trapped" feeling, with feeling old and fragile. He said he appreciates my honesty and that I have a right to my feelings.

We are now hearing that the plane crash was in the fog. Visibility was down to 1000 feet, they call if at 900 feet. There were also 2000 migrant workers trying to get to Malaysia, now with no accomadations from their airline. They are stranded without a place to stay. We are more fortunate. Today is a national holiday-Holi Day. It is a beautiful clear day, very rare for Kathmandu. We went to the Bodha stupa to walk Kora or clockwise around the stupa with several hundred other humans, all ages, different races, different beliefs-all having the same experience, contemplating their existance beneath this all-seeing stupa. Also today I was able to get the meds I needed, across the counter at a pharmacy without a prescription for a couple of bucks. Incredible. Someone said today: "Where would you rather be stranded than Kathmandu.

Some members of the group are sick-intestinal stuff, colds. Others are emotionally at the limit with jobs and family responsibilities. I started at my limit, have had frustrations and profound experiences, and still I am here and relatively okay. I get that this is life, and not in my control. It's been a day at a time for nearly 27 years. I simply forgotten. Sat at the Roadhouse rooftop cafe for lunch listening to jazz, looking at the peaks and watching people do Kora around the stupa. Could be worse. It is just this not knowing.